Again... Sorry!

You want a hug and when I say I still have homework, you get frustrated and mumble something about it only taking "one second"

Well... so does pausing a game to take care of our son.

Poison.

Sorry

I'm sorry that taking care of our son is such a burden for you.  I'm sorry that the "pause" button was created for a reason.  I'm sorry that in my head, my school is more important than your video games.

Poison.

Well...

This time it's not video games; it's random trailers and other videos and facebook.  Oh, and he's on two computers at once.

Poison.

Dear Subconscious...

Hello, brain.  It's me again.  Umm... listen... I know he's here all the time and everything, but these dreams are something I really don't need right now, all things considered.  Especially when I can't get them out of my head.  Then, they come up at random times, and... well... he's still at my place.  Luckily, my Aunt Flo is here to help cool things down, but I'd rather not have to have her help.

Lord, PLEASE get rid of these thoughts and dreams for me.  Thanks.

Pois0n[ed]

Why Do I Wait?

I'm at home bored and for some reason think that having my husband home will ease the boredom somehow.  It doesn't.  Maybe I'm anxious for his arrival for some help with the kid.  No, that's probably not it either, since simply asking for him to make a bottle gets him a little cranky.  And if the kiddo is crying, it's ME that has to go figure out why.  Excuses are either:  "I didn't hear him" or a shouting "You're okay" without even checking on him.  Whatever.  I mean, even as I write this, the baby is crying.  Of course, the dishwasher is running, the husband is playing video games and watching YouTube.  What am I doing?  Blogging.  Listening to the baby cry.

At least he started supper while I was out running.

Poison.

How Much More?

I deal with the same thing over and over again, and it wears me down.  I can go from happy to emotionally exhausted in just moments.  He takes things out of proportion and breaks down and panics over the same things all the time.  Does he not understand that we have always made it through and will continue to do so?  I need people to vent to other than him but don't have a whole lot of options.  The option I do have is friends with him and has flirted with me on more than one occasion.  Though I trust him (because of how good of friends they are), my SO has indicated that he worries sometimes that there may be something going on.  No... But it would be good to be able to talk to him without HIM around.  ....It would be good to vent to someone who actually sees this on a daily basis and can calm ME down... Ya know... after all of the calming HIM down.

Poison.

His Mom

I already feel like I have somehow already gained the title of "his mom" rather than my own name.... by my own relatives!  A perfectly normal conversation will result in talking about him within just a few texts.  "Put him on Skype" "I want to do this with him next time I see him" etc.  While that's all well in good, it would be nice to be remembered as a person rather than just as a mother.

Poison.