Something I Wrote Last Night (Journal)

2-3-13

He is constantly changing.  His faith is so rock, half the time I'm not even sure it's there.  The back and forth is really confusing.  If anything tears us apart, it will be the yo-yo effect.  It wears me out...and it makes me worry... and it saddens me.  Sometimes, it angers me.
He complains that I've changed so much he doesn't know me anymore.  But we've both changed, haven't we?  It's all part of growing older.  He's not the man I fell in love with.
I feel like the reasons we married each other/fell in love don't exist anymore.  The things important to me are no longer important to him, it seems.  And vice versa.
Sometimes, he asks himself if it's worth it.
Sometimes, I ask myself the same thing.
Am I with him because I love him or because I'm dependent and stubborn?

Truth is, he can still make me smile no matter the mood.
And that's good enough reason for me.

P.

Jealousy

What's gotten into my husband lately?
I added a friend on facebook who happens to be male (and pretty darn old) and my husband is getting jealous.  This guy and I were friends a long time ago and have been friends since I was about 18.  We don't talk very often anymore, but that's okay.  We keep in touch every once in a while.  This guy is kind of like family.
Anyway, my husband is jealous of this guy and has absolutely no reason to be.
One, I've never physically met this guy.  We used to talk online and on the phone.  So what if we happened to meet on a dating site?  He is married.  I don't go for married men.
Two, this guy is really old.  He has enough health issues to make me worry.  I wouldn't go for a guy who is constantly going to the hospital.  No offense to anyone.  I don't go for military guys either.
And three.  He lives in a different state.

I don't know why he is suddenly jealous of a guy I rarely ever talk to.  It's weird.  I knew he had insecurity issues, but this is weird even for him.

Po1s0n.