I'm so tired of sitting,
waiting...
Searching for any kind of sign
with great big flashing neon lights
"GO HERE!!!"
I'm waiting for the Finger of God
to point my direction
I'd rather cower in the same place
than take that dreaded leap of faith
I'm terrified
of what I think is right
I'd rather cower here alone
than make a sudden move
afraid to stimulate something other than myself
even for my own good
I'm tired of sitting,
waiting...
Searching for elusive signs
with great big flashing neon lights
I'm tired of waiting on the Finger of God
to point my direction
But I'm too terrified
of what I think is right
Too scared not to cower in the same old place
and take that dreaded leap of faith
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Monday, June 11, 2012
Maybe Not My Dream Home...
It is so hard to think that God is moving you in the direction you had hoped for only to be jerked back by the leash and told "No" and then to trot back happily like nothing ever happened.
I wanted this job so bad. It was a receptionist job in my favorite city in the world. The moment she realized I had a non-driver's ID and did not have an actual license was the moment I had dreaded for the last few days. Her whole attitude shifted and suddenly, she was not a nice lady. I was told to leave my application (yeah, so much for the interview I was supposed to have) with a receptionist and see my way out. "She'll call you." I am 95% sure I am not getting this job. And this is the first "interview" I have had since I worked at Wal-Mart in 2010. Not for lack of trying, of course.
Oh well. I sent an email thanking her for her time (not that she actually gave me any) and asked to be notified of whether I would or would not be chosen for further evaluation. I doubt I will actually get an email back, but I tried.
I totally thought that this would be a God thing and that things would just miraculously fall into place. We're not the only ones who feel that Omaha is where we need to be. I applied and the same day got an email back about my availability for an interview. Surely, it had to be God! I put so much work into this only to be shot down and have my time and the time of my friend wasted. I'm sure she thought she was being nice by not telling me "never mind about it; we really need people with valid driver's licenses" and letting me fill out the application (of which I had to find my own pen. And that's another thing; she didn't even confirm the interview. I had to call her.) but I would have rather her tell me the truth.
Anyway, he hasn't posted anything on facebook yet (he is still waiting for confirmation) but hubby might be getting a different job and possibly working at his current job part time to help out. He will be working all week long, but it will be shift work and more money with both jobs. This is an exciting prospect that we had all but given up completely on. But now it's the waiting game again.
I just don't know how to praise God still when He purposely brought my hopes up and slammed them back down (on my monthly at that). It's hard not to be so disheartened when this is the only call-back I have gotten in two years. Yeah the hubby is willing to work two jobs, but it's not even the finances that make me strive to work. It's being absolutely stir crazy and having no human interaction most of the time except for those that I live with. I want adult interaction! Not immature boy and toddler interaction with a dose of my husband on the side! Hubby tries to fix things by telling me to go hang out with my only female friend in Lincoln who happens to be a mother of 3 and her husband works all the time. Or says he wishes my car worked better and that I could drive to Omaha to see my friends or that he wished they would come up more often. It would be easier if we actually lived near said friends.
I have nothing else to say...
Po1s0n.
I wanted this job so bad. It was a receptionist job in my favorite city in the world. The moment she realized I had a non-driver's ID and did not have an actual license was the moment I had dreaded for the last few days. Her whole attitude shifted and suddenly, she was not a nice lady. I was told to leave my application (yeah, so much for the interview I was supposed to have) with a receptionist and see my way out. "She'll call you." I am 95% sure I am not getting this job. And this is the first "interview" I have had since I worked at Wal-Mart in 2010. Not for lack of trying, of course.
Oh well. I sent an email thanking her for her time (not that she actually gave me any) and asked to be notified of whether I would or would not be chosen for further evaluation. I doubt I will actually get an email back, but I tried.
I totally thought that this would be a God thing and that things would just miraculously fall into place. We're not the only ones who feel that Omaha is where we need to be. I applied and the same day got an email back about my availability for an interview. Surely, it had to be God! I put so much work into this only to be shot down and have my time and the time of my friend wasted. I'm sure she thought she was being nice by not telling me "never mind about it; we really need people with valid driver's licenses" and letting me fill out the application (of which I had to find my own pen. And that's another thing; she didn't even confirm the interview. I had to call her.) but I would have rather her tell me the truth.
Anyway, he hasn't posted anything on facebook yet (he is still waiting for confirmation) but hubby might be getting a different job and possibly working at his current job part time to help out. He will be working all week long, but it will be shift work and more money with both jobs. This is an exciting prospect that we had all but given up completely on. But now it's the waiting game again.
I just don't know how to praise God still when He purposely brought my hopes up and slammed them back down (on my monthly at that). It's hard not to be so disheartened when this is the only call-back I have gotten in two years. Yeah the hubby is willing to work two jobs, but it's not even the finances that make me strive to work. It's being absolutely stir crazy and having no human interaction most of the time except for those that I live with. I want adult interaction! Not immature boy and toddler interaction with a dose of my husband on the side! Hubby tries to fix things by telling me to go hang out with my only female friend in Lincoln who happens to be a mother of 3 and her husband works all the time. Or says he wishes my car worked better and that I could drive to Omaha to see my friends or that he wished they would come up more often. It would be easier if we actually lived near said friends.
I have nothing else to say...
Po1s0n.
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