Apparently, my husband has "forgotten" that I communicate with him when I am away. In other words, if I was staying the night someplace other than the first place, I would tell him. I would also tell him for how long I would be staying there and where our son was sleeping. Especially if we were sleeping in the same room. And when sleeping in the same room, I keep my phone on vibrate or silent so that nothing will wake my sweet baby up.
Communication, for some odd reason, goes out the window when I visit my family. I'm the one who texts first in the mornings, and today I decided to do a little test. How long would it be before he texted me? Any guesses? How about all day until I finally sent him a text telling him that he has been quiet. That was after 5pm. I also sent him a text reminding him about something at around 2pm or so. Never got a response back from that text, which is fine, since the response would be akin to "kk".
When I told him of his silence, he reasoned that he had a horrible day at work. When I asked if he did something that he needed to do today, I got a "text you during break at class". I never got a text, but when I checked my email, I noticed that he had responded to a guy in a group email several times over the period of about 5pm-8pm. During which time my phone was absolutely silent.
His reasoning was that the computer was out, and while he was waiting for his turn to do something in class, he would use it. He could have easily sent me a text over YIM or something but never did.
He probably never even thought of it.
I mentioned this lack of communication over distance (it happens EVERY time) and now he is saying that it's a coping mechanism for me being gone. Which makes no sense. He would rather not talk to me at all since he can't see me anyway?? Is that, like, a guy thing or something? Because, if it is, guys are dumb.
He says that's not it; he just shuts down. Oy!
The thing is, I am married to a BIG guy. Not muscular big, but big as in very unhealthy. I worry about his health, and not hearing from him all day long makes me worry. Well, that and past transgressions that I try to tell my paranoid mind won't ever happen again.
Now he tells me to "learn to live with it" and that he will try to do better. Honestly, and I do hate to say this; I'll believe it when I see it.
That thing he needed to do? Apparently he couldn't do it because the office was closed. Sadly, I'm going to actually go check that out...And it's true. They close at 4.. actually they have horrible hours. 9am-4pm. Sucks for people who work 8-5 jobs.
Whatever. The thing is, I just want him to communicate more, but he just wants to shut down because he's depressed. I chose to live with that the rest of my life without fully knowing what I was getting into.
On another, slightly related topic, I think I'm done travelling after this year for a while. The stress just isn't worth it. The fights aren't worth it. The drama isn't worth it. I'm just so over it. People can come visit me for once.
Po1s0n.
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