Welcome to the World Wide Web

Hi.  This is the internet.  This is a place I can say whatever the hell I want to whenever the hell I want to.  If you can't handle the fact that I miss/love your son, because he's FAMILY, you need to kindly get off your high horse, build a freaking bridge, and GET THE FREAK OVER IT!!!  Especially when there is no drama involved for you to get upset over.  I get it.  You want me out of your freaking life.  Well too bad.  My husband loves his father who just happens to be your husband (guess who came first.. it wasn't you).  And amazingly, your husband loves his son!  Both of them!  Maybe you can't get that through your thick skull, but I'm fed up with this shit.  As I said in a previous post, "if you're supposed to be an example of maturity, I'll stick with being immature."

And of course, you'll probably find this post and create drama from it, but I think you need to stop faking it.  Go ahead and tell him how you REALLY feel about us.  You want us out of your life; especially me.  And I can't figure out why.  Seriously.

I've grown up.  Isn't about time you did, too?

Poison.

I've been thinking of you more often lately
And about how much I care for you
I just want you to be happy
Not like this
Beating yourself up again and again
I'm not even sure you realize you do it

You throw yourself into your work
Claiming it's what you love
But we both know
You're just hiding

And you won't look
Right under your nose
To find
Exactly what you're looking for.

[March 26, 2011]

So... I have decided I am going to be REAL no matter who sees this blog.  Now, that doesn't mean I won't beat around the bush and make a million hints and bunny trails that basically lead absolutely NOWHERE, but... I'm still going to be me.  And if I hurt your feelings?  Well, you'll probably get over it.

Poison.

I Wonder if You Know

I keep telling myself it's not true.  I mean, a week.. not even!  A crush.  More?  I don't know.  I'm in love with you.  No, it's not the same as the in love I am with my husband.  But a different one.  I love you, but it's a type of love I don't recall ever feeling before.  Not even for another person... A different person on my mind.  That type of love is its own as well.

How many loves can exist in one heart--in one mind?

I wonder if you know how I feel.  I can't even explain it.  It's just there.  This compulsion towards you, my non-blood brother.  And it's not going away.  No matter how often I wish it would.

Poison.

Maturity?

If you're supposed to be an example of maturity, I think I'll just stick with being immature.  I mean, really.  You're my "friend" then you're not my "friend."  Then you are again.  Then you're not.  Are we in elementary??

You're older than me, yet you have to delete me and then re-add me and then delete me again on FaceBook.  It's FaceBook!

I go on that account to see how MY little brother in law is doing and to ask you personally only to find out that the account doesn't exist as one of my friends.  I have a feeling you delete me and then your husband re-adds me.  After-all, it IS a joint account.

I love my son's uncle, but you push me out of your life as much as possible, and I can't understand why. When I was out of town, you decided to tag along with your hubby AND bring the kid.  But "he doesn't travel well" when I am in town.  Nice.

If you weren't a part of this family, I would just say "good riddance."  It's obvious how much you hate me.  But you need to grow up and get over it.  I'm part of this family just as much as you are.

Poison.