Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Great What-Ifs

I was thinking about this a lot last night (you know, instead of sleeping).

What if I had stuck by my original word?  I said, when I moved to a different state, "No more guys."  What did I do?  Found 3 I instantly had a crush on.  One of the crushes dwindled rather quickly as my heart moved on to the other two possibles.  Because of one crush, I met another one.  I allowed myself to cheat on my secret boyfriend back home for the nth time with that last crush.  The others dwindled over time (though I admit it took a very long while), and I became a wife and mother.  I would not ask for a different man.

But if I had stuck by that "no more guys" rule, certain things would not have happened.  Would I have spent all that extra time at his house getting to know him?  Probably not.  Maybe I would have taken my time, done things right, dated and eventually married one of my original crushes.  I would still be in school, I may still have my ex as a friend, and I probably wouldn't think much about the man that I did marry in real life.

And maybe I would have found someone totally new that I had never met in real life because of the poor choices I made.

All in all, I'm not sure I would have been as happy as I am today.  I'm glad I made bad choices.  Yeah, I learned from them.  But I also learned that they truly do depict the outcomes of our lives, and sometimes mistakes can be the best choices you've ever made.

Poison.

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