...and yet I'm married. Who knew? Oh well, it's only a daily struggle with myself.
Anyway, yes, I quit the Love Dare. Why? Because it really didn't fit my life. And you know what? After I actually gave it up, my attitude got a lot better.
So we'll see how NaNoWriMo works out. Don't know what that is? Well, Google it for better understanding.
It's National Novel Writing Month or something like that.
I have to take November and write 50,000 words on my novel! Thankfully, it's only a rough draft. Because there will be a lot of grammar editing involved, I'm sure. Hey, I'm not perfect!
Let's hope I don't quit on that, too.
Poison.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Dare 13
Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they’d really like to work on. Just to be together.
I'm realizing that this book is made for couples who both have lives...
I have no life.
Therefore, I cannot purposefully neglect an activity to spend quality time with my husband.
Most of these things lately just haven't fit us. It sucks. Our lifestyle is completely different than the "normal" lifestyle, I guess.
Or maybe it's made mainly for men. Who, of course, have lives.
Not giving up. Just not able to do most of this stuff. I mean, I can do something with him if he wants me to. Just to be together.
Poison
I'm realizing that this book is made for couples who both have lives...
I have no life.
Therefore, I cannot purposefully neglect an activity to spend quality time with my husband.
Most of these things lately just haven't fit us. It sucks. Our lifestyle is completely different than the "normal" lifestyle, I guess.
Or maybe it's made mainly for men. Who, of course, have lives.
Not giving up. Just not able to do most of this stuff. I mean, I can do something with him if he wants me to. Just to be together.
Poison
Saturday, September 29, 2012
In Other News
Hubby decided to pre-register for the convention, because it was cheaper. We bought a moneypack thingy for PayPal, but he managed to scratch two of the numbers off (he used a quarter). So $69 later, we finally got him registered. -_- He is hoping that we can either refund the card or use PayPal to pay on electric or something. We had to pay twice, essentially. It sucked. Luckily, there was a guy online late last night that helped him get registered.
One cat is getting along much better with the baby. I really wish I knew where my camera was.
And my mood sucks. I have no idea why. Bleh!
Poison.
One cat is getting along much better with the baby. I really wish I knew where my camera was.
And my mood sucks. I have no idea why. Bleh!
Poison.
Dare 13
I know it seems like I skipped a few. I'm sorry. This really is where I'm at, though.
Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.
Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.
1. We will never mention divorce.
2. We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past.
3. We will never fight in public or in front of our children.
4. We will call a “time out” if conflict escalates to a damaging level.
5. We will never touch one another in a harmful way.
6. We will never go to bed angry with one another.
7. Failure is not an option. Whatever it takes, we will work this out.
1. I will listen first before speaking. “Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19).
2. I will deal with my own issues up-front. “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3)
3. I will speak gently and keep my voice down. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
I copied and pasted them from here.
Totally failed this yesterday :( I told him if he ever gave up on God, that was my deal-breaker. But at least we talked about it. You know, after the fight. Haven't fought like that in a long time, so I guess it's an improvement.
((I'm sorry about the weird formatting of this blog. After copying and pasting the lists, it started acting up.))
P.
PS: I'll edit this when I talk to him.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Slacker
Well, I've been slacking off pretty badly. And my attitude is getting worse :(
It doesn't help that the last few entries have been about asking him what he needs, and he doesn't need anything from me... what he does need is currently off limits.
I managed to get so angry at him today that I was shaking. Fantastic, right?
Why do I get so scared whenever he says something stupid like "God has probably abandoned us" or talking about abandoning Him. At the same time, am I really in the wrong?
I've been hearing God tell me to be patient for so long, and now it's hubby's turn to hear it. I'm still being patient, but he's not doing so well at it. We're not able to do everything he wants to do, and he's frustrated/stressed/whatever about it and freaking out.
All I said was that I wasn't going to the big gaming convention. That's it. I don't like the idea of having to advance for something, so I decided not to go. This saves money on the entry fee as well as gas, since we won't need to travel to drop the kiddo off. I told him he could go, but he was still freaking out about how he needs to be there for his might-someday-become-a-business deal. But I don't need to be there. He "wanted it to be a family thing" even though kiddo wouldn't be there. It's really not my thing. There's one panel I'd like to go to, but I'm not willing to pay money we don't have for it.
Anyway, enough of that.
We hung out the other day while waiting for a friend, and he said something that kind of hit my emotions.
He told me he'd be willing to adopt an infant girl later on in life when we're ready to. Definitely a start in where I was going with my dreams.
Sorry for my slacking.
Now.. what disagreement can I bow out of that won't hurt something else? -_-
P.
It doesn't help that the last few entries have been about asking him what he needs, and he doesn't need anything from me... what he does need is currently off limits.
I managed to get so angry at him today that I was shaking. Fantastic, right?
Why do I get so scared whenever he says something stupid like "God has probably abandoned us" or talking about abandoning Him. At the same time, am I really in the wrong?
I've been hearing God tell me to be patient for so long, and now it's hubby's turn to hear it. I'm still being patient, but he's not doing so well at it. We're not able to do everything he wants to do, and he's frustrated/stressed/whatever about it and freaking out.
All I said was that I wasn't going to the big gaming convention. That's it. I don't like the idea of having to advance for something, so I decided not to go. This saves money on the entry fee as well as gas, since we won't need to travel to drop the kiddo off. I told him he could go, but he was still freaking out about how he needs to be there for his might-someday-become-a-business deal. But I don't need to be there. He "wanted it to be a family thing" even though kiddo wouldn't be there. It's really not my thing. There's one panel I'd like to go to, but I'm not willing to pay money we don't have for it.
Anyway, enough of that.
We hung out the other day while waiting for a friend, and he said something that kind of hit my emotions.
He told me he'd be willing to adopt an infant girl later on in life when we're ready to. Definitely a start in where I was going with my dreams.
Sorry for my slacking.
Now.. what disagreement can I bow out of that won't hurt something else? -_-
P.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Dare 9
GREET YOUR SPOUSE WARMLY AND AFFECTIONATELY.
Well, I said hello and told him I loved him when he got in the door. I also asked him how his day was. He didn't act any differently towards me, so I guess maybe I didn't do it right. But when I asked him how I could greet him better, he told me to do exactly what I did. He said he might not have been paying attention lol. Too focused on greeting the baby ;)
Today, I'm supposed to do something out of the ordinary to show that my love is out of choice. I don't know what to do. I'll figure something out, I guess.
Poison.
Well, I said hello and told him I loved him when he got in the door. I also asked him how his day was. He didn't act any differently towards me, so I guess maybe I didn't do it right. But when I asked him how I could greet him better, he told me to do exactly what I did. He said he might not have been paying attention lol. Too focused on greeting the baby ;)
Today, I'm supposed to do something out of the ordinary to show that my love is out of choice. I don't know what to do. I'll figure something out, I guess.
Poison.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Dare 8
So thanking him for caring about me WAS kind of out of the blue. He was perplexed. I tried explaining to him that it wasn't for anything specific but for everything in the last four years. I *think* he got it lol
I finally sat down and made the lists for Dare #7--
Positive and Negative things about him.
I wrote the positive things down first, so it was actually more difficult to think of negatives. That's how I should train my brain. Any time I think of a negative thing, I'm going to try to think of positive things in its place.
The negative list is shredded up, and the positive list is hidden in plain sight if I have a snooping husband. It's written in the journal I keep next to my side of the bed.
Of course, so is the list of wrongful motivations.
I'm finally all caught up.
Dare 8
Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
The title of today's section is called "Love Is Not Jealous"
The thing that hit home the most was not being jealous of his successes. It's no secret that I wish I could go back to school. It's also no secret that I have a specific one in mind. And I can't get there yet. It's not his fault, but he gets to go to school. So I have been swallowing that jealousy for a long time. I've been trying hard to be happy for him rather than to feel negative. Even before this challenge.
He starts school next week.
The most recent achievement I can think of would be that he went to a management training class. It doesn't really mean anything, except that they did tell him he was a great candidate. Again, with this store, it means pretty much nothing except a way to get his hopes up, but it does look good on a resume.
I've already told him how proud I am of him for it.
Maybe I'll tell him how proud I am that he is sticking with it instead of giving up, even though the store he works at is setting itself up for total failure (and I mean to the point of closing it down). Hopefully, they get rid of the current manager they have, but corporate is tying hands as well, so it's just not looking good.
Poor hubby has to put up with that crap along with dealing with rude customers and fellow employees (plus the crappy manager).
I'd say that's an achievement, wouldn't you?
Poison.
I finally sat down and made the lists for Dare #7--
Positive and Negative things about him.
I wrote the positive things down first, so it was actually more difficult to think of negatives. That's how I should train my brain. Any time I think of a negative thing, I'm going to try to think of positive things in its place.
The negative list is shredded up, and the positive list is hidden in plain sight if I have a snooping husband. It's written in the journal I keep next to my side of the bed.
Of course, so is the list of wrongful motivations.
I'm finally all caught up.
Dare 8
Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
The title of today's section is called "Love Is Not Jealous"
The thing that hit home the most was not being jealous of his successes. It's no secret that I wish I could go back to school. It's also no secret that I have a specific one in mind. And I can't get there yet. It's not his fault, but he gets to go to school. So I have been swallowing that jealousy for a long time. I've been trying hard to be happy for him rather than to feel negative. Even before this challenge.
He starts school next week.
The most recent achievement I can think of would be that he went to a management training class. It doesn't really mean anything, except that they did tell him he was a great candidate. Again, with this store, it means pretty much nothing except a way to get his hopes up, but it does look good on a resume.
I've already told him how proud I am of him for it.
Maybe I'll tell him how proud I am that he is sticking with it instead of giving up, even though the store he works at is setting itself up for total failure (and I mean to the point of closing it down). Hopefully, they get rid of the current manager they have, but corporate is tying hands as well, so it's just not looking good.
Poor hubby has to put up with that crap along with dealing with rude customers and fellow employees (plus the crappy manager).
I'd say that's an achievement, wouldn't you?
Poison.
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