Slacker

Well, I've been slacking off pretty badly.  And my attitude is getting worse :(

It doesn't help that the last few entries have been about asking him what he needs, and he doesn't need anything from me... what he does need is currently off limits.

I managed to get so angry at him today that I was shaking.  Fantastic, right? 
Why do I get so scared whenever he says something stupid like "God has probably abandoned us" or talking about abandoning Him.  At the same time, am I really in the wrong?
I've been hearing God tell me to be patient for so long, and now it's hubby's turn to hear it.  I'm still being patient, but he's not doing so well at it.  We're not able to do everything he wants to do, and he's frustrated/stressed/whatever about it and freaking out.
All I said was that I wasn't going to the big gaming convention.  That's it.  I don't like the idea of having to advance for something, so I decided not to go.  This saves money on the entry fee as well as gas, since we won't need to travel to drop the kiddo off.  I told him he could go, but he was still freaking out about how he needs to be there for his might-someday-become-a-business deal.  But I don't need to be there.  He "wanted it to be a family thing" even though kiddo wouldn't be there.  It's really not my thing.  There's one panel I'd like to go to, but I'm not willing to pay money we don't have for it.

Anyway, enough of that.

We hung out the other day while waiting for a friend, and he said something that kind of hit my emotions.
He told me he'd be willing to adopt an infant girl later on in life when we're ready to.  Definitely a start in where I was going with my dreams.

Sorry for my slacking.
Now.. what disagreement can I bow out of that won't hurt something else?  -_-

P.